Who Am I?

I'm a law abiding citizen who believes in following the rules.  I have learned it's best to color within the lines. Never question the status quo and try to keep my head down.

I'm lying.

This is a updated version of a FAQ I've had up for years and it seems sad to pull it now.


1-Are you a genius?
No, I really sway more on the side of moronic. The people in my life do this a lot. "I said, turn right, then right, THEN left.......Are you listening to me?" 2016- Actually I'm not stupid and if I tune you out you probably deserve it.

2- Where do you live?
I'm sorry to say the lovely people of Portland Oregon have to put up with me. They are a gracious bunch and rarely grumble about it. 2016- yeahhhh still applies.

3- Why does your grammar and punctuation suck so bad?
See number 1. And I'm pretty sure someone dropped me on my head when I was like fifteen or something. My husband is really sweet about it and always gives me good examples of people who are "smart" but can't figure out punctuation to save their lives. He's a good guy, that one. 2016-sadly the truth is, years of chronic stress screws  with your cognitive abilities. On the upside, I've learned how to make it my bitch. If you can't do it correctly then do it with panache.

4- If your husband can't stand your blog does he even like you? I have one word for you. Boobs. 2016- he still likes boobs but now he likes this blog too.

5- Are you crazy? You have no idea! But we all got quirks. You have a cowlick and maybe ugly feet. 2016- Work through it or die. Survival of the fittest and all that jazz.

6- Do you really exercise and eat well? Couldn't live life without it. Currently, CrossFit is my form of torture and eating well, is um eating well? 2016-Screw CrossFit worst thing you can do to your body. Still rehabbing a hip and resenting the hell out of it. Don't do metcons with weights or wall balls or box jumps or...just don't do high impact metcons. Not even once.

7- Why was your blog created by a bunch of ferrets? How do you create a blog without ferrets? Is there a tutorial on that or something? 2016- ferrets are life. Life is ferrets.

8- How old are you? Old enough to know better. 2016- old enough to know I don't know a thing

9-Do you have kids? I have one son I raised from a wee little thing (birthed that monster at 10 lbs) and one girl who became mine when I found myself buying college books and other motherly things like......food. 2016- we have stayed at two kids. Which is good. I'd probably adopt out another if they where lucky. Unlucky would entail a bag and a really heavy rock.

10- 2016-10 was stupid it went away. the new 10 is something, something are you happy? Yes, I am thanks for asking! I love my life there is rarely a dull day.